Are You A “Ghoster”?


Jayla Wilson, Staff Writer

Ghosting, in this context, isn’t a paranormal figure that exists in movies or in the haunted house next door- if you’re a believer. Ghosting, by definition, is “a verb that refers to ending a romantic relationship by cutting off all contact and ignoring the former partner’s attempts to reach out.” In these upcoming generations it is no assumption that ghosting has become more and more of a popular way to bail out of relationships. On, a popular website for many Stamford High students, a part of the definition of ghosting is, “Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghosted without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghosted than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.” Many people have obviously been effected by ghosting and there have been studies on the effects of ghosting.

A poll done by YouGov/Huffington Post showed that out of 1,000 adults, 11 percent have ghosted another person.  Many relationships in recent years have resulted in this measure due to the fear of backlash or embarrassment. This certain study obtained my interest and drove me to conduct a smaller study of my own within the Stamford High Community.  After asking 10 students if they have ever been ghosted or have ghosted a former partner, six out of the 10 have said they were “ghosted” and four out of the 10 said that they were the “ghoster”.

Another study done by has shown that there is psychological damage left on both the ghosters and the ghosted. In the long run the ghosters have been shown to feel guilt and notice that they have taken the “coward’s way out”. The study also showed that the ghosted develop a low self-esteem as they worry about their insecurities and why they have been ignored. Ghosting has shown to provoke more anger and depression within both parties.

A junior at Stamford High School who was ghosted and had taken the poll (who asked to remain anonymous) said, “This guy and I were talking, nothing to serious, but after like three weeks of it he stoped responding to me and started to avoid me in the halls.”  She shared that after being thrown to the side, she started up something new with another student as Stamford High, but she ended up being the one to avoid his calls and texts in hopes to not have to tell him she didn’t want to talk anymore. From this specific scenario it is clear that ghosting is becoming more popular and that sometimes the ghosted become the ghosters.

Overall, ghosting can lead to an ongoing cycle of hurt, vexation, rage, misconception, distress and many other things. Remember to consider the effects ghosting will leave on both you and your partner. Whether you are the ghoster or the ghostee, the right way to end a relationship is not by avoiding your partner, but by addressing the issue head on and talking it out together.