Look around the magazine section at any store, what do you always see? Shelves full of articles preaching titles like “How to Make Him Become Obsessed With You in 7 Easy Steps,” or “12 Ways to Make a Man Fall Deeply in Love With You.” In these articles, you’ll find one consistent theme: by buying a certain item or changing your look, you will have the guy you want. Unfortunately, this can have a potentially negative impact on the magazine’s audience, teaching the reader to become obsessed with someone else’s approval.

Instead, articles should encourage self-esteem and not caring about others. Sherry Argov, a New York Times Bestselling Author, writes “Not irreverence for people, but rather, for what other people think.” Shelves are being overpowered by magazines and articles on what women should to do to attract men. Women are conditioned to give themselves away. However, I have yet to see a men’s magazine with an article on how to cook a woman a four-course meal, or how to make her fall deeply in love with you. Thus, a double standard existing in terms of the media’s portrayal of dating for men and women.

Attractiveness is much more than just a pretty face. A strong woman has been and always will be much more desirable and admirable than a woman who easily sacrifices herself. This type of women is not only aware of their imperfections, but most importantly, she is comfortable with them and does not let them get in her way.

Being self-confident creates some sort of aura. This aura sparks a desire in someone to get to know you. Confident women are comfortable in themselves and they don’t try to act like someone they are not, which makes them seem interesting and different towards those around them.

The more self-confidence that you portray towards others, the further away you are from negative thoughts about yourself. Confidence and self-assurance shows others that only your opinion matters and that you do not rely someone else for your own happiness and validation. Next time you walk by the magazine section of a store, remember that you do not need approval from a magazine (or anyone else for that matter).