Why is everyone naked? That is the ultimate question. Recently, I have seen a popular trend on the rise; television shows based on the premise of doing everyday activities in the buff. Completely and utterly nude, (although on one show, one guy chose to wear socks while he went zip-lining in Panama, but otherwise he was rocking the birthday suit) there are four shows in particular that are elevating this concept into popularity, ranging from a complex survival show to abstract body painting practices. Everything, by the way, is blurred out, but I still would not recommend watching any of these with grandma.

Naked Vegas (SyFy, No longer airing)

There’s a reason this show was cancelled after one season. Aside from the eye catching title, nothing was exciting about this program. The concept revolves around the body-painting industry in Las Vegas, Nevada, and although it sounds exciting, it falls completely short with weak creative ideas and boring plot lines. The first episode consisted of three body painters creating a few “hot zombie-pirates” that had the capability to go down a waterslide without the make-up melting for some low-budget rap video. Seriously.

Rating: 0/5

Don’t even bother looking this one up on torrent websites. Not. Worth. It.

Buying Naked (TLC, Saturdays at 10/9 Central)

Think House Hunters with a twist. Buying Naked centers around real estate agent, Jackie Youngblood and her team, who focus on finding homes for the residents of Pasco County, Florida; a nudist colony.

The show revolves around Youngblood taking nudists, young and old, around the area in the search for new homes. Each new buyer has their own individual story, and they even slip in facts about the nudist lifestyle and how they aren’t any different than the rest of us. So cliche, but in some ways kind of endearing. Unlike the other nude shows, TLC manages the nudity by strategically placed objects around the home when filming the nudists; for example, two pink plastic flamingos in the forefront of the yard, covering the silhouettes of the two buyers. They are in Florida after all, and plastic flamingos are a thing down there. If you’re bored and want some lighthearted television, consider flipping to this one.

Rate: 3/5

Did you know that nudist prefer lower countertops to minimize the risk of injury of certain spots? Well, you know now.

Dating Naked (VH1, Thursdays at 9/8 Central)

Probably the gaudiest and most uncomfortable of the naked shows, Dating Naked revolves around the premise of just that; dating, naked. Each week, a new cast of characters files in and “rationally” believes that they will find their one-true-love on a naked reality show on one of the most irrelevant television stations of the common era. Although the scenery of tropical Panama is enjoyable, the show itself is not.

The contestants spend the majority of their time ogling each other, and letting out little giggles, while they go on “dates” with three different people. Each night, everyone on the show congregates on a little veranda and decides that it’s the perfect time to drink heavily and act like idiots, fitting perfectly into the motif of the channel that airs Mob Wives and Love & Hip Hop. In one episode, a female contestant broke down into tears when no one was “taking her seriously”; news flash honey, you’re on a naked dating show, there’s a reason no one takes you seriously.

At the end of each episode, the main male and female contestants have to pick their best match out of the three people they were provided to, continue on their future together? I’m not really sure; I don’t see a high possibility of relationship success when your first date takes place doing some obscure activity stark naked.

Rating: 1/5

(VH1 accidentally forgot to blur out some “stuff” in one episode. Gotta be more careful VH1, you’ve now got a lawsuit on your hands)

Naked and Afraid (Discovery Channel, Sundays at 10:02 PM Eastern)

The classiest of the “naked” shows, if there is a thing, Naked and Afraid follows two people placed in harsh conditions in some of the most uninhabitable and extreme places on planet Earth. Each “survivor” is granted one weapon of their choice, and nothing else; no food, water, and obviously, no clothing. They’re required to hunt and forage for food and battle dangerous weather conditions, both heat and cold. In order to “win” this competition, for which there is no prize, the two survivors need to battle the elements for a total of twenty-one days and then make a massive trek to the “extraction site”, where a helicopter awaits to take them back to civilization.

Unlike the other naked shows that are popping up on cable television, when watching this show, one almost forgets that the contestants aren’t wearing any clothes. The show focuses more on the survivalist aspects, instead of the two naked people prancing around on the screen looking for a way to keep warm when the Cambodian desert drops well below freezing at night. It’s almost as if one is watching a recording of their prehistoric ancestors survive, a good fit for the discovery channel. It’s also very refreshing to watch human ingenuity at work, seeing the survivors skin a kudu (a gazelle type animal) to make a blanket out of its skin; kind of gory, but in a life or death kind of way.

The show doesn’t get redundant ever as well, because the contestants and environments are always changing. Some contestants have survivalist backgrounds, while others are business men or stay-at-home mothers who enjoy camping every now and again. Some environments have available water sources nearby, and some require a long journey to take a couple of sips.

Rating: 4/5

(Only because they sometimes lay around their campsites because of lack of energy due to starvation, kind of boring.)